Confidence Siphons

When I was 23, I had my oldest daughter. Having worked in early childhood for years at that point, I went into parenthood with a cocky mindset. I had seen or heard about most anything that a parent has to deal with and had long ago learned how to handle all the things, or so I thought. When that sweet bundle of joy was finally on the outside after 22 hours of labor, an emergency c-section, and a failed "birth plan" later, I panicked. I very quickly came to the realization that I knew all the things when it came to caring for children, from a very different side of the wall. It's easy to know what to do when you have PARENTS making the decisions for you. I knew who was allergic to what, who had a hard time transitioning, and what schedules to expect and implement because (you guessed it) the parents were in the trenches figuring it out for me. When my recovery nurse asked me if I wanted MY BRAND NEW BABY to have the vitamin K shot I had no one to turn to but my husband who was relying on my previously bragged about kid skills. Oh, boy did my confidence bubble pop. I muddled through that first day looking to everyone I knew that had parented, nurses, doctors anyone that would make decisions for us. It wasn't until one of my nurses, Shawna, looked me square in the eye and said "Honey, this is your baby. Follow your gut. No one that is worth worrying about is going to pop out of the floorboards and tell you that you're doing it wrong".

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